funny responses to what are you doing this weekendfunny responses to what are you doing this weekend

I ask that question so I wont impose myself on someone by asking them to do something if they already have plans. I sympathize with their reasons for having trouble planning, but I also do find it a little irksome that they only initiate actual plans once a year for their birthday while still making all the sounds about wanting to hang out. This is absolutely true; it IS rude to put someone on the spot like that. Its okay that I usually watch movies/play videogames/read all weekend and those arent shameful hobbies. I am definitely not math or sciencey, just like my me time, so that wouldnt have occurred to me. Funny Mom Quotes (and Sayings) It is one of my pet peeves. For example, I used to host (board and card) game nights at my home, and Id create an event on Facebook, invite everyone who was part of this group, and ask them to please let me know as soon as they knew whether or not theyd be there, at least by the day before, so I could plan how much food Id need to buy/make. parents of adult children pull this exact same rude little stunt, I am the parent of an adult child who is living at home, and I have been training myself since her teenhood to say, I would like to claim some of your time this weekend or I would like to ask a favor for this weekend, if youre available. or would you help me with X instead of are you busy? (OK, sometimes Ill say, Are you busy? Humor is one of the best ways to respond to being asked out, as long as it's well-received. Its a little involved because Mittens needs daily collagen injections and also shes doing primal scream therapy. I also use ooh, Im not sure whether Im driving my stepson to his Dads that weekend, Ill have to check for longer-term put-offs. If the emphasis is on you its just a greeting. She's asking because she's interested in your plans specifically. I get the rude stealth favor askers too and it irritates. Well see you at other times but this ones for us.. So setting a rent that I would for any other adult is simply not applicable. LW gets that we all know this, and should be less friggin bigoted about shoving our nosy questions at a population for whom nosy questions are constantly tied to real threats of violence. I dont give any indication as to what I am up to until they tell me what they are up to. Those non-negotiable things come up probably twice a month, at most. I actually trained my mother out of this question by responding to every vague What are you doing on X? by saying Tell me what you really want to know. Fortunately, my mother is a reasonable person who understands boundaries, and mostly just laughed and said Good point, Z is going on and Id like to go and wanted company. She also totally gets my introversion and that sometimes I dont have anything going on but Id still rather not do Z is a perfectly valid answer. LW, one of the things you could do is take a hobby (or pretend to) and have that as your backup plans. They think I cant give a soft no because Ive already said Im not busy and I cant give a hard no because Im a woman. What about you? ? comments. Its been pretty good policy.) You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course, and definitely use the Captains scripts and bat the ball back across the net with I dont know, how about you? But I wonder if it would help to make these interactions less frustrating for you if you tried not to think of them as someone trying to get something from you that you dont want to give. Part of why Im asking is I just plain find it baffling that parents do this, though the consequences loom large enough. (Women with STEM doctorates especially get constant streamers of this kind of contempt from their families.). You can do that! My husbands family is large and I generally love them, but sometimes I just do not want to eat little smokies and chips with 40 other people in a loud house with tons of screaming children. (Seriously? Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Then they can ask for details to make up their minds, or just shut you down with a no of preferred firmness if the event doesnt appeal. Theres a great body of research on the pileup of mental stress on the interrupted person, and the habit encourages the interrupter to indulge in constant watching and judging of how another adult spends their R&R downtime, which isnt good for the interrupter either, since it breeds resentment, often of a very petty kind. Sometimes I go with something like, Im already committed to a couple of things, but they still have to get back to me about when, exactly, theyre happening. Shes asked like this a few times. COME TO LOOSE PLAN HANGOUT THING THAT IM INVOLVED IN OR ELSE YOU MIGHT SHRIVEL AND DIE! and they had the best intentions. I think LW is unable to separate people doing something that they personally find annoying, and people intentionally trying to annoy them. Were having a party. I'm sorry I can't really talk right now. More and more, Ive been owning that I dont ever have to say yes. Itd be a big help, but if not I could find someone else. Which is a lot of caveats! Its mostly me trying to figure out a friends general level of free time and not impose if theyre busy or dealing with a crisis. I get what are you doing this weekend? or just what are you doing? on a Saturday morning. Yeah, I definitely use this question as way to be polite. Being a grown up with a family, studies and a job, friends and hobbies my life is often busy and so is my friends so we often use this website https://doodle.com/ but then people always know what kind of an event we are trying to schedule. (This one is so trite that it takes a few moments for the humor to sink in.) That is AMAZING and I love Gladys (and you) and that is going directly into my repertoire for Dealing With Those Extroverts. If they really are trying to manipulate you then Im afraid having just the right words wont fix it you will probably have to say no directly when they finally get to their request. Glad that this day is not that worse. I absolutely support you insisting on it and tossing her out on her ear if she doesnt want to. You know the parent is deliberately being controlling if that wont work for me gets any variation on, BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYY.. Sounds like hes a robot instructed to find out a fun thing the customer is doing later. Alternately, I am sleeping the whole weekend. Your mother/father and I are going to X, would you like to come along?. And when I say angling, it might not be in a cornering way. It seems to me to have grown somehow out of how do you do, to which the appropriate response was, of course, how do you do. They help us tons, just because they love us and were family. Because shes a family member. I dont know why shes not a foreign diplomat with all the people she can bring together. You get to notice pretty fast that your opinions, feelings and thoughts dont matter if they dont conform to a view of the world that doesnt let them look like heroes and you like a cultural clich. For me, laundry is a good excuse, because you can make it seems as small or as big as youd like. Read also. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey But why would you feel entitled to her time to help with party favors for a party youre throwing? Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. I usually list a few of the things Im doing and treat it as a conversation starter, i.e., ask them about their weekend. So yeah, I feel that part too. There are some funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for when your family keeps asking you the same dull questions. If it is in fact a lead up to an invitation or request I can always either find room for it or say I dont have time. ME: Hi [Friend], Id like to plan a karaoke night with you, are you free [date] or [date]? Nobody seems to be doing well by this arrangement. But if someone says what are you doing tomorrow night and I say painting my toenails in front of Netflix, that leaves me without a graceful out. I think it would be odd to preemptively take that away. And because family members pitch in. I never know how to respond when service people ask How are you? and is seems almost like a variation of just saying hi. And suddenly many things became clear. I hope this email finds you well. Also: owning that I dont always have to say yes Im getting there! My go-to script for these (which I HATE) is an equally noncommittal, Why, whats up? Im not saying I do or dont have plans, but Im going to figure out why theyre asking me the question. I do have friends who have trouble planning things for various reasons and often say things like I miss you or We should hang out more without doing anything to make it happen. This applies in other areas of life too. They may be angling to invite you somewhere. Never trust Calvin, even if you see Hobbes! I dont use it myself because I dont like the way it comes across. Im glad its not a way to get rid of someone/blow them off without saying so. Threading has run out, so replying to your top comment, spd please try to avoid using the word spazzy. I love that you are into mountain biking! Xoxo. 5 Better Responses to "How Are You?" Than "Busy" - The Muse You would think, right? Its very jarring to see that thrown around when its a nasty slur here in the UK. If its just a soft open to an invitation, you can be annoyed by it, or you can say, I dunno, you?. So the LWs anger at nosy questions is more than justified. Not every parent who expects stuff from their kid is unreasonable. If the idea is to make refusal easier, I think scripts like Im going to this show tomorrow, if youd like to join me and Do you know of anyone who might be able to babysit on Saturday? would be more effective. It makes you feel like whatever you do, you are expected to conform to being othered. When someone is fishing for a date or a maybe-babysitter, though, I turn it right back around on them. To contact our editors please use our contact form. No, it had just been earlier that very day. In conclusion the rules arent really all that different. Because everybodys got something. Her presence in this household is ONLY because of her family relationship. Question. Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. Which is honest at least. Because people look forward to the weekend, they often start talking about it as early as Wednesday. "You know I can do this anytime.". How are you? You can begin with, "I hope this email finds you well," which has the same meaning as "Hope you are doing well". I think we can get trapped in endless circles of soft invitations where neither person ever gets the push to move forward, so Ive tried to get more into the habit of being explicit about a desire for the other person to act. You have actually internalized a very common social rule. You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course. Any request for someones time, regardless of the setting of the fun variable in your mind. Instead of making it easier for people to say no, people find it makes it harder. Nothing much. The method that has been the most successful for me is to ask one person if theyre available/interested in an event, work out a date, and then specify such event in a group chat. And if someone is trying to open a debate about the validity of your plans vs. what they want you to be doing, it is a refusal to take the podium. This is my first time commenting because so much of this rang true. I had a hard time staying employed and taking care of myself because I have a chronic illness, and the alternative to living with my parents would be to figure out how to apply for section 8 housing and Disability, both of which have a long wait list. And that goes triple if youre less privileged. I wish that just once I had the wherewithal to respond to a manipulative invitation like LW describes with the classic Phoebe Buffet line: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.. Your tactic of combining the two points is the right way to go, I think. Your radishes that you consider joint family radishes because everyone could eat them? This says "I'm doing well.". I agree!! *I have some sympathy for her, in that Ive seen how this is gendered in our culture, of women being trained not to ask for what they want/need (possibly more than in western cultures? If its not something Im into, I feel pressure to say yes because she knows Im not busy. There are several possible moves in response to this gambit. I usually reply with Nothing, in which Nothing means knitting, crocheting or basket weaving and listening to audio books. My cousins with kids are trying to push their 8-12 year olds on me to tutor them and Im like 1. its differential equations, 2. Its the best. I have trouble entertaining myself sometimes, I definitely dont want to try to entertain babies and pets. That would feel like a very odd response if I were making small-talk with the question. And sometimes its due to the other person not grasping the soft no/non-answer to drop the conversation (generally people I am not already friends with, like the one bank teller who keeps on asking* and that I do find nosy/irritating). Similar boundary setting but this is a different angle. Well, have fun whatever you end up doing / decide to do. Its just that nobody expects a stranger or lesser known acquaintance to actually want to answer the question literally. But, in the long run, in my life, I think the conflict over emotional labor and fair division of chores, while sometimes painful and frustrating, was something we were able to move past when I moved out because I never felt unsafe. They also influence how OFTEN. Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. Nanani, that is absolutely true. Do not copy, print, or repost entire posts elsewhere without written permission. Not everyone in my life always has. Yay! Then, actually do check your calendar, check in with yourself if you actually want to do whatever it is, and answer the person when its convenient for you. Kind of a random revelation after reading everyones advice and responses: I think this is up for me right now because Im new to the online dating world and, because of my past experience with my family, I am having a hard time telling if the question is of the innocuous kind (like when co-workers ask my plans for the weekend), a soft opening to trying to ask me out, or the kind of manipulation that Ive, for better or for worse, learned to be on alert for. I am admittedly very sensitive to potential power issues, so I have a hard time seeing when theyre really there and when Im just reacting as though they are. Its aggravating, but it makes sense. Shes moving and needs a van? In my case its also true (OH is much better at executive function than me). Follow. If I catch myself, before they respond lll clarify what my actual invitation is. Flat? One morning when we were together he asked, So what are your plans for tonight? I said, Oh I dont know. 57 Killer Conversation Starters So You Can Talk to Anyone 110 Weekend Quotes to Wish You a Restful Break - Quote Ambition Its 2018. We had to interrupt her to say, We = mom and me, and you got mad so fast, we never got to say would you like to come along? (I know that I dont want to is in fact a perfectly valid excuse. Its okay that I dont want to tell my coworkers the details of what Im reading and I get to choose who I want to share details of my life with. There is literally a meme that says When you ask me what Im doing today and I say Nothing, it does not mean Im free. I suspect some of the people who are giving a vaguer yeah to the lets hang out have answered what they thought was an actual suggestion with Saturdays are good for me and gotten um, er, Im kind of busy these days, Ill call you and never hearing back. Them (if it was small talk) *moves on to a different topic* And I agree that literally saying No, I dont want to get to know you better is a bit off. Anyway, the grad students said one woman asked, How do you think she got like that? and others nodded with pursed lips, agreeing that there was something wrong there. Fine, thanks, and you? Reading, learning, documentaries, podcasts, etc. I am on the spectrum, so I would anxiety-spiral about whether, once again, I missed a basic social skill everyone else learned in kindergarten. After answering you always ask the other person in return how they are, and they respond in kind. My nightmare would be something like this: Them: My 6 year old daughter and her class are putting together a full rundown of the classic opera La Traviata in the original Italian and itll end at 11PM on a weekday. Its only a trap when the same people use it repeatedly to rope you in to doing something you would otherwise be able to avoid gracefully. I loathe this question, and Ive been getting it a lot lately. I can vouch for this strategy! IDK. Theyre expecting to hear seeing a movie and doing some yardwork, not reciting my social security number out loud while treating my intimate medical issues or anything else not normally shared with a crowd. See also, sometimes when someone is rude or difficult, I will pretend they said something nice or appropriate and respond with a total non-sequitur. Its okay that my body needs time to recuperate. Its also tripping flags in your head, which is infinitely more important. I usually just say Im doing laundry. Can you babysit for me? Oh, Im sorry, but Im visiting my in-laws that day. It can feel and be interpreted as quite awkward/rude/offensive/surprising to respond with just No, I dont want to or No, Im not up for that Of course it would be so much healthier if everyone we interact with had taken Captain Awkward 101: Accepting Refusals Gracefully, but the fact is, for many people its much more comfortable to offer an excuse to soften a no. friend: yooooooooo goodyou The lines of dominance and power are what make this a problem. Get a little philosophical and it'll get everyone off of your back. None of us see each other over weekends. But if her idea is super cool or needs to be done on a certain date, Ill absolutely shelve my TV watching for another night! If someone just using what are you doing on __ as a casual opening to issue an invite, it gives them the opening they need. Although it can be asked in the ways LW talks about too, usually for me it is just a way of sharing life with friends and doesnt have much motivation beyond that. I usually respond Why do you need to know? unless its someone I really trust. Thats not an uncommon experience. Any fun plans? Trying to build a house. No, seriously, TheDukeDevlin has the correct answer. Rob: I'm just leaving for work. And then if its something I dont want to do BUT its a person I dont want to discourage, I can say, That sounds like youll have fun!

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