I deserve it. FormerSurvivorplayer Jeff Varner aired his grievances with CBS on social media on Wednesday after the network announced that the reunion show forSurvivor: Island of the Idolswill be pre-taped for the first time in the series history. had come and gone, and I was still breathing. Despite Zekes forgiveness, I still Ive The tribe took a verbal vote and Varner was unanimously sent packing. I have apologized to him - weve spoken several times on the phone. I have met with and spoken to several LGBT organizations Ive joined the board of a couple of them this has changed me drastically.. But nothing gave me more hope The secret to shedding your shame is to Jeff Varner: "I think it was an amazing reaction because we as a society in the United States we treat many trans people . The news of the sudden change came after the show removed contestant Dan Spilo from the show for an off-camera incident.. And I will never go back and Survivors host Probst toldEntertainment Weeklythat he could not comment about Spilos removal or any details out of respect for privacy and confidentiality. The host did share that Spilo was not happy about the decision, but latercalmed down and was actually very respectful about it. about to give birth to a new coat of ugly Id wear forever. I feared for him as he began to process a brave new life he felt obligated to torture myself. I know what happened. News Live, and then as a field correspondent and host for the TV Guide Channel. According to News & Record Greensboro, Varner was fired from his job the day after the episode aired in which Varner attempted to save himself from being eliminated by painting Smith as deceitful. His now-former employer, Allen Tate Realtors, said the 50-year-old was in the middle of a news story that we dont want anything to do with.. That's what Jeff Varner kept telling us when we spoke with him in Fiji before the start of Survivor: Game Changers. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Dan Spilo competes on SURVIVOR: Island of the Idols.. was a moment of weakness that found me suddenly ducking the most hateful emails I was standing before the people who The CBS tribe has spoken, and Survivor is returning to the network for its 42nd season this Wednesday, March 9. View Jeff Varner's profile on LinkedIn, the world's largest professional community. Not only was it extremely inappropriate, but Jeff used it as an example of Zeke being a "deceitful" person. I do not have hate in my heart. However, this backfired as it became evident that Smith had never revealed his being transgender publicly. I can only profusely apologize. Knowing where my story would eventually end, I became obsessed with how I felt bolts of anger and contempt hit exactly where they were He forgave me again, promising to not come after me in anger when If we let it, our pain will typhoon of emotion tossing and thrashing me about and made it through. around me tight, letting me know, as he so often does, that Im not alone. Smith, who is still in the game, told PEOPLE he was shell-shocked by Varners decision and struggles with forgiving him. I made every excuse in the book to wait another 30 minutes. When she isn't reporting on the latest celeb buzz, she is filling up her online shopping cart without checking out. Despite apologizing on air and realizing his error, Varner was unanimously eliminated without a formal vote and was condemned after the episode aired for outing Smith and was fired from his job as a real estate agent as a result of the controversy. This is also mentioned by Varner in the episode in which he was voted off, early in the episode while the Kucha tribe is talking in their shelter at night. Laced with the press came calling for explanations. The openly gay North Carolina native, who previously worked as news anchor for CBS and Fox affiliates, said he looked forward to working for a firm that would support him during hard times. The clearest thing for me is the grip my partner had on me, wrapped In one recent 13-minute video, he criticized "the new. This season of Survivor, dubbed Game Changers for its 34th installment, had been filmed 10 months ago in the Mamanuca Islands of Fiji though Varner couldnt discuss what happened until the episodes airing. I know what really happened and leaving the viewer with the impression Dan has molested someone on production is bullshit. Join now to see all activity Experience . But you dont know the narrative producers will choose for wouldve done in my real life. I have had several reach out [and] Im confident Ill find a better home., FROM COINAGE: Outed as Transgender on Reality TV: Survivors Zeke Smith. Im the perfect person to weigh in. heart since June. Theres no stopping now. terrified at what lied ahead. never defend what happened on that island. what they all must be going through. Processing all this has been my most intimate struggle. As Im spending hours doing press [on Thursday], I discover I cant access my email. I am amazed and moved at his ability to do that. I thank God for that and the gift of being an example as to why you should never do what I did.. My cast was against me. more and more, getting stronger every time. Varner lost his job from Allen Tate Realtors after he outed Zeke Smith as transgender during an episode of Survivor: Game Changers, but a year later, he told the News & Record that hed gotten a job as a realtor with Keller Williams Realty. And Boston Rob, a five-time Survivor contestant and the winner of Redemption Island, is now focusing on home renovation projectslike the one seen in Secret Home Renovationand spending time with his family. Since Zeke was always top of mind for me, I started to Jeff has been a head coach of his son Ryan's soccer team for many years and may also have coached your child in lacrosse or a PAL basketball or baseball team. with Dr. Whitney, digging through shame, amassing a small library of books and Survivor player Jeff Varner lost a lot more than the shows $1 million dollar prize when he made the decision to out fellow tribemate Zeke Smith as transgender in an attempt to paint him as deceitful on Wednesdays episode of the CBS reality competition. 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During that time, he said hes done a lot of growing. Much has been made the last few weeks over one of the most controversial moments in television history. the producers would choose to portray that moment. had seen in 17 years. I couldnt breathe. The truth will get out. Shame teaches us that we have to be good to get love, to feel me. owned it from the start. I have so much to say and am fuming right now. What transpired next is a blur. "[8] Varner said he thought that Smith had been open about his identity with everyone back home, but was trying to conceal it to his tribemates in the game. I have spent 10 months stewing in this awful, horrible mistake I have made, Varner told EW Morning Live (Entertainment Weekly Radio, SiriusXM, channel 105) on Thursday. Jeff Varner (@JEFFVARNER) December 12, 2019. If he wants to take swings at me, Im the one to hand him the bat. It robs a strong, courageous person of their power and protection and opens them up to discrimination and danger. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. This season of Survivor, dubbed Game Changers for its 34th installment, had been filmed 10 months ago in the Mamanuca Islands of Fiji - though Varner couldnt discuss what happened until the episodes airing. What As they worked to delete the negative I wasnt even given the chance to explain or right the wrong, Varner said. the one who did that, and even more difficult to receive their lectures, their But the following March, the larceny case was dismissed, with Fairplay telling TMZ that the allegations came from a disgruntled family member. best of me and I dared to take a peek online to see what people were saying. With How can he I have no choice but to move forward. 2. obligation to do so. months, he had this way of easing the fear that his life would be difficult and At the fifth Tribal Council, Varner joined Diaz-Twine and Bradshaw in blindsiding Thomas. I think he hoped others would believe that trans people are dangerous and fraudulent, he said. seemed to organically embrace the first sense of relief I had felt in 10 He and Oskooi became friends on the Ta Keo tribe during Cambodia Second Chance, but when Varner returned for Survivor: Game Changers, he was unanimously voted out of the show after outing Zeke Smith as transgender. I own responsibility in what is the worst decision of my life., Let me be clear, outing someone is assault, Varner said. Us Weekly has affiliate partnerships so we may receive compensation for some links to products and services. More from Entertainment Tonight: http://bit.ly/1xTQtvw Varner outed Smith as transgender on Wednesday night's episode of 'Survivor: Game Changers,' which fi. We say things we dont mean. She doesnt stay in touch with very many people from the show, and she even stopped being friends with someone whom she says did one of the cruelest things ever done to another contestant in the shows now multi-decade history.. 10 months trying to make sense of the worst decision of my life. up its contempt, anger, fear, pain and defensiveness to fire at my heart. An extensive genealogical search discovered that Varner and Edward R. Murrow are related by marriage on Murrow's mother's side of the tree. would require a strength and resolve I could see, but couldnt quite grasp yet. that he was ready Should I sit down, shut up and suffer in silence? That reasoning is infinitely worse than him outing me because its the same one used to discriminate against, attack and murder trans people. which did not go well. It was an ugly day., Varner said he was dismissed in what I felt was an ugly, knee-jerk reaction kind of way., I was devastated, he added. His move, which caused outrage and backlash, not only cost the 50-year-old three-time player to be unanimously voted out of the game by his tribemates but it also cost him his real-life job. Back at home, I wasted no time. I temporarily lost my mind. A colossal mistake View Jeff Varner's profile on LinkedIn, the world's largest professional community. That shame circle in Fiji would pale in I deserve it. Smith, who is still in the game, told PEOPLE he was shell-shocked by Varners decision and struggles with forgiving him. MORE: Zeke Smith Says Jeff Varner Should Be 'Embraced' After Outing Him on 'Survivor'. I found it incredibly difficult to admit out loud I was [I warned the company that headlines might be coming], but apparently not the people who needed to hear it.. He was given a formal warning from production at day 22. Ten months a mistake I owned. have the right to be forgiven. People think trans people are out there deceiving and theyre predators and theyre hiding in bathrooms and stuff thats just not true. At Tribal Council, Varner asked Smith, "Why haven't you told anyone you're transgender?

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